Rhacel Salazar Parrenas introduces her book Children of Global Migration: Transnational Families and Gendered Woes by providing an ironic account of her existence in the Philippines during her research, how she was often mistaken for male, although she identifies as a cis-gendered woman who does not cross dress. Her encounters went so far as her being directed by airport personnel to move to the correct line when travelling. After much confusion, Parrenas asked her family what they thought the cause of her mistaken gender identity was, which they described as essentially being the result of her galaw or movement. Parrenas shares how her definition of femininity went against societal norms in the Philippines, negating her biology and gendering her male: "I learned femininity in a space that cultivated in it toughness, which emerges in my quick-paced walk, my purposeful gait, and my tough exterior. The everyday practice of my femininity violated the system of knowledge and discourse of femininity prescribed to women in the Philippines. (3)" This anecdote reaches ironic relevance when juxtaposed to how gendered expectations affect transnational families, or families in which one or both parents work and live transnationally in order to provide adequate living for their household.
The expectations of what it means to be an ideal nuclear family in the Philippines are firmly etched although they contradict the reality of many actual families in the Philippines, including transnational families, who "open the door for the reconstitution of gender by rupturing the structural constraints that encourage the "normative gender behavior" more appropriate to patriarchal nuclear households (6)." What expectations are placed on the ideal nuclear family in the Philippines? These expectations include father as sole or primary breadwinner plus the role of disciplinarian, mother as leader of domestic responsibilities plus the role of nurturer. As with any compulsory behaviors of what it means to be man or woman created by society, threats to these heteronormative ideals in the reality of society are looked down upon by not a few.
Parrenas discusses how the negative connotations applied to children of transnational families exist in the Philippines. Transnational families are portrayed as money-centered, which might have to do with many of these families not being on the level of starving when they choose to work and live transnationally. The existence of transnational families contests the normative expectation of an ideal family. Transnational families in which the mother is not present especially contest this ideal by not being physically present with their children, thereby causing society at large and even their children in particular to question their ability to be nurturing. Yet, or not surprisingly, a double standard exists: men who live and work transnationally are often seen as only extending their expected role of being the primary breadwinner of the household. Whether the father or mother lives transnationally, women have to transform their behavior in such a way more greatly pressured by society, functioning in a role that works to not contest as much the normative behavior of families.
Children of transnational mothers, rather than fathers, were more likely to describe feelings of abandonment, which illustrates that even when living within a family that contest heteronormative cultural ideals, children were still affected by society by the expectations they placed on their parents. Mothers working transnationally were only justified in doing so when "extreme poverty" was the alternative, whereas fathers could be only working to advance their career. Women work out of necessity; men have careers for personal fulfillment. The children's attitude toward transnational mothers was merely a reflection of the larger society's negative view of women living and working far away from home. Women were even seen to be essentially emasculating their husbands, assuming they were not single mothers or widowed. In the case of transnational fathers, some women felt the need to overcompensate for the absence of fathers by being what Parrenas described as "super mom" or "intensive mothering" (86). Ironically, this intense mothering could go outside traditionally nurturing, read feminine, roles to include traditionally paternalistic parenting, such as disciplining.
These societal expectations affect not just the children, but the parents and even extended kin themselves. Parrenas describes how transnational fathers may over discipline their children the one to two visits they have annually. Furthermore, transnational mothers or "martyr moms" experience feelings of guilt not usually felt by transnational fathers. "By mourning, mothers portray they would much rather be at home with their children than earning a living outside the country. (118)" Although husbands of transnational mothers do go beyond their expected gender role, just as often if not more so, their daughters are expected to take on the maternal role in the absence of their mothers, which Parrenas refers to as dutiful daughters. This reality illustrates that in just the way that transnational families may contradict heteronormative ideals of nuclear families, they may also reinforce them with the expectations places on young women, or daughters, of their family. It is also akin to the women of the United States transferring the responsibility of childrearing and housekeeping to transnational mothers, part of a larger issue of society still not viewing childrearing and housekeeping as men's responsibilities and childcare as a governmental responsibility at large.
Heteronormative ideals may be threatened by the reality of transnational families, but they are also reinforced, whether due to guilt as posited onto women or men of transnational families based on societal expectations of proper parenting roles. The children of global migration have just as much a chance of usurping the power of these heteronormative ideals as they do of continuing to live them out for the next generation to come.
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